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A thing called troublesome.
As has been said by most of people, life is not as easy as some think.
Another day and plenty of stuff to do. He just wake up, almost feeling good.. Well, it was another tedious day. Get a shower, have the little slice of bread with marmalade, and the usual glass of milk with cacao powder. Prepare his bag with the college notes of the course for the lectures, and get at the bus, which will lead him to his dream: to become someone in this dammed life (which is not an easy task). However, his thinking leads him to the worst feelings of the universe. Anyway, he enters the lecture very proud of being who he is.
The lecture is getting very interesting, but the people do not mind it, because it is very early in the morning, and they only think to finish the lectures and pass the modules, while he is thinking what the time is going to do to him. Geez, what great remembrances arrive at his mind. They were the ones that make oneself ashamed, proud, melancholy, […] he does not know how to describe them. Suddenly, the figure of his best thought comes, tension, happiness, a stream of nerves, he does not know why this was so complicated. Over-beating is taking his heart, and he does not realize about the causes of it.
Out of the lecture he realizes that that circumstance could not last so much time.
Nobody knows about it, you know it, no one cares about it. You are just a consequence of this society, who knows? Maybe you are wrong, but that feeling is overtaking you. You read something similar in those amazing books, but could not imagine that it could happen to you. It is something very hard to explain. I wish someone were in my mind to tell me what is happening to me because this is not as easy as they say. Those special persons who I like to be with cannot be here right now, and if they were, you could not say anything to them, why? Do not know, but you have to think that you cannot be with them all the rest of your life. You have to choose. One or another, but it is impossible. One cannot be at the same time in several places. Eh?! You are in another lecture and your mind does not notice it. Maybe this is more serious than you thought. You have to tell it, but how? They could understand you, but you are not brave enough to tell it. You need someone to take care of this, and that person can only be you, but you need someone too. Arrgh! It is very difficult but not impossible, maybe time gives you what you want, maybe not, but… What do you want? I know, but at the same time I do not know. Well, keep it out at least now, you have to be focusing in the lecture, but I cannot. Keep it out I said! Ok, it seems it is out, but not for a long time, it will appear again in any moment. You do not know how they could do it in pristine times, but you can guess that they keep it or tell it, the same as you, though you cannot throw it up because you are a kind of coward in this aspect. Your feelings are the weirdest thing these last years. I realize now why those people write that stories, to feel better. Oh imagination, you are cruel most of times, you imagine impossible things. You feel better there than here, but you have to change it, and in order to do so, you need to find the person who will help you throughout your life, but, who wants to do it? The ones you thought? Goz, shut up mind! You know those ones are impossible goals, besides you make it possible, but how? Telling them this short of thing, they will laugh at you, or worst, they will never say to you anything…who knows, you should try this, but you risk a lot… Maybe they help you, but the thing is not as simple as it seems, you want… Is this love? Is this mind appeal? Who knows? What? The lectures finished? Oh, I wish I were with…
The college day finished for him, though he still does not know what to do. He chases that idea, but who will fill the gap of his life is the thing that worries him. If it were love, he would never find it, he would stay in those platonic affairs, as usual…
